ewspaper or be 
distracted by anything else during this time). 
6. Bring her cut flowers as a surprise as well as on special occasions. 
7. Plan a date several days in advance, rather than waiting for Friday night and asking her what 
she wants to do. 
8. If she generally makes dinner or if it is her turn and she seems tired or really busy, offer to 
make dinner. 
9. Compliment her on how she looks. 
10. Validate her feelings when she is upset. 
11. Offer to help her when she is tired. 
12. Schedule extra time when traveling so that she doesn't have to rush. 
13. When you are going to be late, call her and let her know. 
14. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking. 
15. Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her "I'm sorry you 
feel hurt." Then be silent; let her feel your understanding of her hurt. Don't offer solutions or 
explanations why her hurt is not your fault. 
16. Whenever you need to pull away, let her know you will be back or that you need some time 
to think about things. 
17. When you've cooled off and you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a 
respectful, nonblaming way, so she doesn't imagine the worst. 
18. Offer to build a fire in wintertime. 
19. When she talks to you, put down the magazine or turn off the TV and give her your full 
attention. 

20. If she usually washes the dishes, occasionally offer 
to wash the dishes, especially if she is tired that day. 
21. Notice when she is upset or tired and ask what 
she has to do. Then offer to help by doing a few of her "to do" items. 
22. When going out, ask if there is anything she wants you to pick up at the store, and 
remember to pick it up. 
23. Let her know when you are planning to take a nap or leave. 
24. Give her four hugs a day. dive er four hugs a day. 
25. Call her from work to ask how she is or to share something exciting or to tell her "I love 
you." 
26. Tell her "I love you" at least a couple of times every day. 
27. Make the bed and clean up the bedroom. 
28. If she washes your socks, turn your socks right side out so she doesn't have to. 
29. Notice when the trash is full and offer to empty it. 
30. When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number where you can be reached and 
to let her know y ou arrived safely. 
3 1. Wash her car. 
32. Wash your car and clean up the interior before a date with her. 
33. Wash before having sex or put on a cologne if she likes that. 
34. Take her side when she is upset with someone. 
35. Offer to give her a back or neck or foot massage (or all three). 
36. Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate sometimes without being sexual. 
37. Be patient when she is sharing. Don't look at your watch. 
38. Don't flick the remote control to different channels when she is watching TV with you. 

39. Display affection in public. 
40. When holding hands don't let your hand go limp. 
41. Learn her favorite drinks so you can offer her a 
choice of the ones that you know she already likes. 
42. Suggest different restaurants for going out; don't put the burden of figuring out where to go 
on her. 
43. Get season tickets for the theater, symphony, opera, ballet, or some other type of 
performance she likes. 
44. Create occasions when you both can dress up. 
45. Be understanding when she is late or decides to change her outfit. 
46. Pay more attention to her than to others in public. 
47. Make her more important than the children. Let the children see her getting your attention 
first and foremost. 
48. Buy her little presents-like a small box of chocolates or perfume. 
49. Buy her an outfit (take a picture of your partner along with her sizes to the store and let 
them help you select it). 
50. Take pictures of her on special occasions. 
5 1. Take short romantic getaways. 
52. Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it from time to time. 
53. When staying in a hotel, have them prepare the room with something special, like a bottle 
of champagne or sparkling apple juice or flowers. 
54. Write a note or make a sign on special occasions such as anniversaries* and birthdays. 
55. Offer to drive the car on long trips. 
56. Drive slowly and safely, respecting her preferences. After all, she is sitting powerless in the 
front seat. 
57. Notice how she Is feeling and comment on it -"You look happy today " or "You look 
tired"-and then ask a question like "How was your day?" 

58. When taking her out, study in advance the directions so that she does not have to feel 
responsible to navigate. 
59. Take her dancing or take dancing lessons together. 
60. Surprise her with a love note or poem. 
61. Treat her in ways you did at the beginning of the relationship. 
62. Offer to fix something around the house. Say "What needs to be fixed around here? I have 
some extra time." Don't take on more than you can do. 
63. Offer to sharpen her knives in the kitchen. 
64. Buy some good Super Glue to fix things that are broken. 
65. Offer to change fight bulbs as soon as they go out. 
66. Help with recycling the trash. 
67. Read out loud or cut out sections of the newspaper that would interest her. 
68. Write out neatly any phone me~ you may take for her 
69. Keep the bathroom floor clean and dry it after taking a shower. 
70. Open the door for her. 
71. Offer to carry the groceries. 
72. Offer to carry heavy boxes for her. 
73. On trips, handle the luggage and be responsible for packing it in the car. 
74. If she washes the dishes or it is her rum, offer to help scrub pots or other difficult tasks. 
75. Make a "to fix" list and leave it in the kitchen. When you have extra time do something on 
that fist for her. Don't let it get too long. 
76. When she prepares a meal, compliment her cooking. 
77. When listening to her talk, use eye contact. 
78. Touch her with your hand sometimes when you talk to her. 

79. Show interest in what she does during the day, in the books she reads and the people she 
relates to. 
80. When listening to her, reassure her that you are interested by making little noises like ah ha, 
uh-huh, oh, mmhuh, and hmmmm. 
8 1. Ask her how she is feeling. 
82. If she has been sick in some way, ask for an update and ask how she is doing or feeling. 
83. If she is tired offer to make h er some tea. 
84. Get ready to go to sleep together and get in bed at the same time. 
85. Give her a kiss and say good-bye when you leave. 
86. Laugh at her jokes and humor. 
87. Verbally say thank you when she does things for you. 
88. Notice when she get s her hair done and give a reassuring compliment. 
89. Create special time to be alone together. 
90. Don't answer the phone at intimate moments or if she is sharing vulnerable feelings. 
91. Go bicycling together, even if it's just a short ride. 
92. Organize and prepare a picnic. (Remember to bring a picnic cloth.) 
93. If she handles the laundry, bring the clothes to the cleaners or offer to do the wash. 
94. Take her for a walk without the children. 
95. Negotiate in a manner that shows her that you want her to get what she wants and you also 
want what you want. Be caring, but don't be a martyr. 
96. Let her know that you missed her when you went away. 
97. Bring home her favorite pie or dessert. 
98. If she normally shops for the food, offer to do the food shopping. 
99. Eat lightly on romantic occasions so that you don't become stuffed and tired later. 

100. Ask her to add her thoughts to this list. 
10 1. Leave the bathroom seat down. 
THE MAGIC OF DOING LITTLE THINGS 
It's magic when a man does little things for his woman. It keeps her love tank full and the score 
even. When the score is even, or almost even, a woman knows she is loved, which makes her 
more trusting and loving in return. When a woman knows she's loved, she can love without 
resentment. 

Doing little things for a woman is also healing for a man. In fact, those little things will tend to 
heal his resentments as well as hers. He begins to feel powerful and effective because she's 
getting the caring she needs. Both are then fulfilled. 

What a Man News 

just as men need to continue doing little things for a woman, she needs to be particularly 
attentive to appreciate the little things he does for her. With a smile and a thanks she can let 
him know he has scored a point. A man needs this appreciation and encouragement to continue 
giving. He needs to feel he can make a difference. Men stop giving when they feel they are 
being taken for granted. A woman needs to let him know that what he is doing is appreciated. 

This doesn't mean that she has to pretend that everything is now perfectly wonderful because 
he has emptied the trash for her. But she can simply notice that he has emptied the trash and 
say "thanks." Gradually more love will flow from both sides. 

What a Man Needs a Woman to Accept 

A woman needs to accept a man's instinctive tendencies to focus all his energies into one big 
thing and minimize the importance of the little things. By accepting this inclination, it will not 
be as hurtful to her. Rather than resenting him for giving less, she can constructively work with 
him to solve the problem. She can repeatedly let him know how much she appreciates the little 
things he has done for her and that he works hard and attentively. 

She can remember that his forget ting to do the little things doesn't mean he doesn't love her 
but that he has become too focused on big things again. Instead of fighting him or punishing 
him, she can encourage his personal involvement by asking for his support. With more 
appreciation and encouragement a man will gradually learn to value the little things as well as 
the big. He will become less driven to be more and more successful and begin to relax more 
and spend more time wi