discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of 
love. 
Many couples at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to work on a relationship. 
They unrealistically expect It to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up. 
They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes it requires hard work under a hot 
sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partner's needs as well as ask for 
and get the love we need. It doesn't happen automatically. 

The Autumn of Love 


As a result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest the results of our hard 
work. Fall has come. It is a golden time-rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love 
that accepts and understands our partner's imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of 
thanksgiving and sharing. Having worked hard during summer we can relax and enjoy the love 
we have created. 

The Winter of Love 

Then the weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold, barren months of winter, 
all of nature pulls back within itself. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. This is a time 
in relationships when we experience our own unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when 
our lid comes off and our painful feelings emerge. It is a time of solitary growth when we need 
to look more to ourselves than to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing. 
This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their 
wells. 

After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably 
returns. Once again we are blessed with the feelings of hope, love, and an abundance of 
possibilities. Based on the inner healing and soul searching of our wintery journey, we are then 
able to open our hearts and feel the springtime of love. 

SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS 

After studying this guide for im' proving communication and getting what you want in your 
relationships, you are well prepared for having successful relationships. You have good reason 
to feel hopeful for yourself. You will weather well through the seasons of love. 

1 have witnessed thousands of couples transform their relationships-some literally overnight. 
They come on Saturday of my weekend relationship seminar and by dinnertime on Sunday 
they are ill love again. By applying the insights you have gained through reading this book and 
by remembering that men are from Mars and women are from Venus you will experience the 
same success. 

But 1 caution you to remember that love is seasonal. In spring It is easy, but in summer it is 
hard work. In autumn you may feel very generous and fulfilled, but in winter you will feel 
empty. The information you need to get through summer and work on your relationship is 
easily forgotten. The love you feel in fall is easily lost In winter. 

In the summer of love, when things get difficult and you are not getting the love you need, 
quite suddenly you may forget everything you have learned in this book. In an instant it is all 
gone. You may begin to blame your partner and forget how to nurture their needs.

 When the emptiness of winter sets in, you may feel hopeless. You may blame yourself and 
forget how to love and nurture yourself. You may doubt yourself and your partner. You may 
become cynical and feel like giving up. This is all a part of the cycle. It is always darkest before 


the dawn. 

To be successful in our relationships we must accept and understand the different seasons of 
love. Sometimes love flows easily and automatically; at other times it requires effort. 
Sometimes our hearts are full and at other times we are empty. We must not expect our partners 
to always be loving or even to remember how to be loving. We must also give ourselves this 
gift of understanding and not expect to remember everything we have learned about being 
loving. 

The process of learning requires not only hearing and applying but also forgetting and then 
remembering again. Throughout this 
book you have learned things that your parents could not teach you. They did not know. But 
now that you know, please be realistic. Give yourself permission to keep making mistakes. 
Many of the new insights you have gained will be forgotten for a time. 

Education theory states that to learn something new we need to hear it two hundred times. We 
cannot expect ourselves (or our partners) to remember all of the new insights in this book. We 
must be patient and appreciative of their every little step. It takes time to work with these ideas 
and integrate them into your life. 

Not only do we need to hear it two hundred times but we also need to unlearn what we have 
learned in the past. We are not innocent children learning how to have successful relationships. 
We have been programmed by our parents, by the culture we have grown up in, and by our 
own painful past experiences. Integrating this new wisdom of having loving relationships is a 
new challenge. You are a pioneer. You are traveling in new territory. Expect to be lost 
sometimes. Expect your partner to he lost. Use this guide as a map to lead you through 
uncharted lands again and again. 

Next time you are frustrated with the opposite sex, remember men are from Mars and women 
are from Venus. Even if you don't remember anything else from this book, remembering that 
we are supposed to be different will help you to be more loving. By gradually releasing your 
judgments and blame and persistently asking for W at you want, you can create the loving 
relationships you want, need, and deserve. 

You have a lot to look forward to. May you continue to grow in love and light. Thank you for 
letting me make a difference in your fife. 

