s talk to each other in strange voices as we all
eat cake and then Lourdes and Nell vanish back into the kitchen. Clare says, "I
got you a present. Close your eyes." I close my eyes. I hear Clare push her chair
back from the table. She walks across the room. Then there is the noise of a
needle hitting vinyl...a hiss...violins...a pure soprano piercing like sharp rain
through the clamor of the orchestra...my mother's voice, singing Lulu. I open my
eyes. Clare sits across the table from me, smiling. I stand up and pull her from
her chair, embrace her. "Amazing," I say, and then I can't continue so I kiss her.
Much later, after we have said goodbye to Nell and Lourdes with many teary
expressions of gratitude, after we have made our way home and paid the
baby-sitter, after we have made love in a daze of exhausted pleasure, we lie in
bed on the verge of sleep, and Clare says, "Was it a good birthday?"
"Perfect," I say. "The best."
"Do you ever wish you could stop time?" Clare asks. "I wouldn't mind
staying here forever."
"Mmm," I say, rolling onto my stomach. As I slide into sleep Clare says, "I feel
like we're at the top of a roller coaster," but then I am asleep and I forget to ask
her, in the morning, what she means.
AN UNPLEASANT SCENE
Wednesday, June 28, 2006 (Henry is 43, and 43)
Henry: I come to in the dark, on a cold concrete floor. I try to sit up, but I get
dizzy and I lie down again. My head is aching. I explore with my hands; there's a
big swollen area just behind my left ear. As my eyes adjust, I see the faint
outlines of stairs, and Exit signs, and far above me a lone fluorescent bulb
emitting cold light. All around me is the criss-crossed steel pattern of the Cage.
I'm at the Newberry, after hours, inside the Cage.
"Don't panic" I say to myself out loud. "It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." I stop
when I realize that I'm not listening to myself. I manage to get to my feet. I'm
shivering. I wonder how long I have to wait. I wonder what my co-workers will
say when they see me. Because this is it. I'm about to be revealed as the tenuous
freak of nature that I really am. I have not been looking forward to this, to say the
least.
I try pacing back and forth to keep warm, but this makes my head throb. I give
it up, sit down in the middle of the floor of the Cage and make myself as compact
as possible. Hours go by. I replay this whole incident in my head, rehearsing my
lines, considering all the ways it could have gone better, or worse. Finally I get
tired of that and play records for myself in my head. That's Entertainment by the
Jam, Pills and Soap by Elvis Costello, Perfect Day by Lou Reed. I'm trying to
remember all the words to the Gang of Four's I Love a Man in a Uniform when the
lights blink on. Of course it's Kevin the Security Nazi, opening the library. Kevin
is the last person on the entire planet I would want to encounter while naked and
trapped in the Cage, so naturally he spots me as soon as he walks in. I am curled
up on the floor, playing possum.
"Who's there?" Kevin says, louder than necessary. I imagine Kevin standing
there, pasty and hung over in the dank light of the stairwell. His voice bounces
around, echoing off the concrete. Kevin walks down the stairs and stands at the
bottom, about ten feet away from me. "How'd you get in there?" He walks
around the Cage. I continue to pretend to be unconscious. Since I can't explain, I
might as well not be bothered. "My God, it's DeTamble," I can feel him standing
there, gaping. Finally he remembers his radio. "Ah, ten-four, hey, Roy."
Unintelligible static. "Ah, yeah, Roy it's Kevin, ah, could you come on down to
A46? Yeah, at the bottom." Squawks. "Just come on down here." He turns the
radio off. "Lord, DeTamble, I don't know what you think you're trying to prove,
but you sure have done it now." I hear him moving around. His shoes squeak
and he makes a soft grunting noise. I imagine he must be sitting on the stairs.
After a few minutes a door opens upstairs and Roy comes down. Roy is my
favorite security guy. He's a huge African-American gentleman who always has a
beautiful smile on his face. He's the King of the Main Desk, and I'm always glad
to arrive at work and bask in his magnificent good cheer. "Whoa," Roy says.
"What have we here?"
"It's DeTamble. I can't figure out how he got in there."
"DeTamble? My my. That boy sure has a thing for airing out his john-son. I
ever tell you 'bout the time I found him running around the third-floor Link in
his altogether?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Well, I guess we got to get him out of there."
"He's not moving."
"Well, he's breathing. You think he's hurt? Maybe we should call an
ambulance."
"We're gonna need the fire department, cut him out with those Jaws of Life
things they use on wrecks." Kevin sounds excited. I don't want the fire
department or paramedics. I groan and sit up.
"Good morning, Mr. DeTamble," Roy croons. "You're here a bit early, aren't
you?"
"Just a bit," I agree, pulling my knees to my chin. I'm so cold my teeth hurt
from being clenched. I contemplate Kevin and Roy, and they return my gaze. "I
don't suppose I could bribe you gentlemen?"
They exchange glances. "Depends," Kevin says, "on what you have in mind.
We can't keep our mouths shut about this because we can't get you out by
ourselves."
"No, no, I wouldn't expect that." They look relieved, "Listen. I will give each
of you one hundred dollars if you will do two things for me. The first thing is, I
would like one of you to go out and get me a cup of coffee."
Roy's face breaks into his patented King of the Main Desk smile. "Hell, Mr.
DeTamble, I'll do that for free. 'Course, I don't know how you're gonna drink it,"
"Bring a straw. And don't get it from the machines in the lounge. Go out and
get real coffee. Cream, no sugar."
"Will do," says Roy.
"What's the second thing?" asks Kevin.
"I want you to go up to Special Collections and grab some clothes out of my
desk, lower right-hand drawer. Bonus points if you can do it without anyone
noticing what you're up to."
"No sweat," Kevin says, and I wonder why I ever disliked the man.
"Better lock off this stairwell," Roy says to Kevin, who nods and walks off to
do it. Roy stands at the side of the Cage and looks at me with pity. "So, how'd
you get yourself in there?"
I shrug. "I don't have a really good answer for that."
Roy smiles, shakes his head. "Well, think about it and I'll go get you that cup
of coffee."
About twenty minutes pass. Finally, I hear a door being unlocked and Kevin
comes down the stairs, followed by Matt and Roberto. Kevin catches my eye and
shrugs as though to say, I tried. He feeds my shirt through the mesh of the Cage,
and I put it on while Roberto stands regarding me coldly with his arms crossed.
The pants are a little bulky and it takes some effort to get them into the Cage.
Matt is sitting on the stairs with a doubtful expression. I hear the door opening
again. It's Roy, bringing coffee and a sweet roll. He places a straw in my coffee
and sets it on the floor next to the roll. I have to drag my eyes away from it to
look at Roberto, who turns to Roy and Kevin and asks, "May we have some
privacy?"
"Certainly, Dr. Calle." The security guards walk upstairs and out the
first-floor door. Now I am alone, trapped, and bereft of an explanation, before
Roberto, whom I revere and whom I have lied to repeatedly. Now there is only
the truth, which is more outrageous than any of my lies.
"All right, Henry," says Roberto. "Let's have it."
Henry: It's a perfect September morning. I'm a little late to work because of Alba
(she refused to get dressed) and the El (it refused to come) but not terribly late,
by my standards, anyway. When I sign in at the Main Desk there's no Roy, it's
Marsha. I say, "Hey Marsha, where's Roy?" and she says, "Oh, he's attending to
some business." I say, "Oh " and take the elevator to the fourth floor. When I
walk into Special Collections Isabelle says, "You're late," and I say, "But not
very." I walk into my office and Matt is standing at my window, looking out over
the park.
"Hi, Matt," I say, and Matt jumps a mile.
"Henry!" he says, going white. "How did you get out of the Cage?"
I set my knapsack on my desk and stare at him. "The Cage?"
"You-I just came from downstairs-you were trapped in the Cage, and Roberto
is down there-you told me to come up here and wait, but you didn't say for
what-"
"My god." I sit down on the desk. "Oh, my god." Matt sits down in my chair
and looks up at me. "Look, I can explain... " I begin.
"You can?"
"Sure." I think about it. "I-you see-oh, fuck,"
"It's something really weird, isn't it, Henry?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it is." We stare at each other. "Look, Matt.. .let's go downstairs
and see what's going on, and I'll explain to you and Roberto together, okay?"
"Okay." We stand up, and we go downstairs.
As we walk down the east corridor I see Roy loitering near the entrance to the
stairs. He starts when he sees me, and just as he's about to ask me the obvious, I
hear Catherine say, "Hi, boys, what's up?" as she breezes past us and tries to
open the door to the stairs. "Hey, Roy, how come no can open?"
"Hum, well, Ms. Mead," Roy glances at me, "we've been having a problem
with, uh..."
"It's okay, Roy," I say. "Come on, Catherine. Roy, would you mind staying up
here?" He nods, and lets us into the stairwell.
As we step inside I hear Roberto say, "Listen, I do not appreciate you sitting
in there telling me science fiction. If I wanted science fiction I would borrow some
from Amelia." He's sitting on the bottom stairs and as we come down behind him
he turns to see who it is.
"Hi, Roberto," I say softly. Catherine says, "Oh my god. Oh my god." Roberto
stands up and loses his balance and Matt reaches over and steadies him. I look
over at the Cage, and there I am. I'm sitting on the floor, wearing my whit