logized each time I screamed. 

"Edward wasn't happy. I remember hearing them discuss me. I stopped screaming sometimes. 
It did no good to scream. 

 

"'What were you thinking, Carlisle?' Edward said. 'Rosalie Hale?'" Rosalie imitated Edward's 
irritated tone to perfection. "I didn't like the way he said my name, like there was something 
wrong with me. 

"'I couldn't just let her die,' Carlisle said quietly. 'It was too much - too horrible, too much 
waste.' 

"'I know,' Edward said, and I thought he sounded dismissive. It angered me. I didn't know 
then that he really could see exactly what Carlisle had seen. 

"'It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her,' Carlisle repeated in a whisper. 

"'Of course you couldn't,' Esme agreed. 

"'People die all the time,' Edward reminded him in a hard voice. 'Don't you think she's just a 
little recognizable, though? The Kings will have to put up a huge search - not that anyone 
suspects the fiend,' he growled. 

"It pleased me that they seemed to know that Royce was guilty. 

"I didn't realize that it was almost over - that I was getting stronger and that was why I was 
able to concentrate on what they were saying. The pain was beginning to fade from my 
fingertips. 

"'What are we going to do with her?' Edward said disgustedly - or that's how it sounded to 
me, at least. 

"Carlisle sighed. 'That's up to her, of course. She may want to go her own way.' 

"I'd believed enough of what he'd told me that his words terrified me. I knew that my life 
was ended, and there was no going back for me. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone. . 
. . 

"The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was. This time I believed. I 
felt the thirst, my hard skin; I saw my brilliant red eyes. 

"Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite 
the eyes, I was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." She laughed at herself for a moment. 
"It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me - for me 
to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been . . . well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera. So I 
could have been allowed to marry someone who lovedme, and have pretty babies. That's 
what I'd really wanted, all along. It still doesn't seem like too much to have asked for." 

She was thoughtful for a moment, and I wondered if she'd forgotten my presence again. But 
then she smiled at me, her expression suddenly triumphant. 

"You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle's," she told me. "Better than Esme. A 

 

thousand times better than Edward. I've never tasted human blood," she announced proudly. 

She understood my puzzled expression as I wondered why her record was onlyalmost as 
clean. 

"I did murder five humans," she told me in a complacent tone. "If you can really call 
themhuman . But I was very careful not to spill their blood - I knew I wouldn't be able to 
resist that, and I didn't want any part of themin me, you see. 

"I saved Royce for last. I hoped that he would hear of his friends' deaths and understand, 
know what was coming for him. I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him. I think 
it worked. He was hiding inside a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault's, 
guarded outside by armed men, when I caught up with him. Oops - seven murders," she 
corrected herself. "I forgot about his guards. They only took a second." 

"I was overly theatrical. It was kind of childish, really. I wore a wedding dress I'd stolen for 
the occasion. He screamed when he saw me. He screamed a lot that night. Saving him for 
last was a good idea - it made it easier for me to control myself, to make it slower -" 

She broke off suddenly, and she glanced down at me. "I'm sorry," she said in a chagrined 
voice. "I'm frightening you, aren't I?" 

"I'm fine," I lied. 

"I got carried away." 

"Don't worry about it." 

"I'm surprised Edward didn't tell you more about it." 

"He doesn't like to tell other people's stories - he feels like he's betraying confidences, 
because he hears so much more than just the parts they mean for him to hear." 

She smiled and shook her head. "I probably ought to give him more credit. He's really quite 
decent, isn't he?" 

"Ithink so." 

"I can tell." Then she sighed. "I haven't been fair to you, either, Bella. Did he tell you why? 
Or was that too confidential?" 

"He said it was because I was human. He said it was harder for you to have someone on the 
outside who knew." 

Rosalie's musical laughter interrupted me. "Now I really feel guilty. He's been much, much 
kinder to me than I deserve." She seemed warmer as she laughed, like she'd let down some 
guard that had never been absent in my presence before. "What a liar that boy is." She 

 

laughed again. 

"He was lying?" I asked, suddenly wary. 

"Well, that's probably putting it too strongly. He just didn't tell you the whole story. What he 
told you was true, even truer now than it was before. However, at the time . . ." She broke 
off, chuckling nervously. "It's embarrassing. You see, at first, I was mostly jealous because he 
wantedyou and not me." 

Her words sent a thrill of fear through me. Sitting there in the silver light, she was more 
beautiful than anything else I could imagine. I could not compete with Rosalie. 

"But you love Emmett . . . ," I mumbled. 

She shook her head back and forth, amused. "I don't want Edward that way, Bella. I never 
did - I love him as a brother, but he's irritated me from the first moment I heard him speak. 
You have to understand, though . . . I was so used to people wantingme . And Edward 
wasn't the least bit interested. It frustrated me, even offended me in the beginning. But he 
never wanted anyone, so it didn't bother me long. Even when we first met Tanya's clan in 
Denali - all those females! - Edward never showed the slightest preference. And then he met 
you." She looked at me with confused eyes. I was only half paying attention. I was thinking 
about Edward and Tanya andall those females, and my lips pressed together in a hard line. 

"Not that you aren't pretty, Bella," she said, misreading my expression. "But it just meant 
that he found you more attractive than me. I'm vain enough that I minded." 

"But you said 'at first.' That doesn't still . . . bother you, does it? I mean, we both know 
you're the most beautiful person on the planet." 

I laughed at having to say the words - it was so obvious. How odd that Rosalie should need 
such reassurances. 

Rosalie laughed, too. "Thanks, Bella. And no, it doesn't really bother me anymore. Edward 
has always been a little strange." She laughed again. 

"But you still don't like me," I whispered. 

Her smile faded. "I'm sorry about that." 

We sat in silence for a moment, and she didn't seem inclined to go on. 

"Would you tell me why? Did I do something . . . ?" Was she angry that I'd put her family - 
her Emmett - in danger? Time and time again. James, and now Victoria . . . 

"No, you haven't done anything," she murmured. "Not yet." 

I stared at her, perplexed. 

 

"Don't you see, Bella?" Her voice was suddenly more passionate than before, even while 
she'd told her unhappy story. "You already haveeverything . You have a whole life ahead of 
you - everything I want. And you're going to justthrow it away . Can't you see that I'd trade 
everything I have to be you? You have the choice that I didn't have, and you're 
choosingwrong !" 

I flinched back from her fierce expression. I realized my mouth had fallen open and I snapped 
it shut. 

She stared at me for a long moment and, slowly, the fervor in her eyes dimmed. Abruptly, she 
was abashed. 

"And I was so sure that I could do this calmly." She shook her head, seeming a little dazed by 
the flood of emotion. "It's just that it's harder now than it was then, when it was no more 
than vanity." 

She stared at the moon in silence. It was a few moments before I was brave enough to break 
into her reverie. 

"Would you like me better if I chose to stay human?" 

She turned back to me, her lips twitching into a hint of a smile. "Maybe." 

"You did get some of your happy ending, though," I reminded her. "You got Emmett." 

"I got half." She grinned. "You know that I saved Emmett from a bear that was mauling him, 
and carried him home to Carlisle. But can you guess why I stopped the bear from eating 
him?" 

I shook my head. 

"With the dark curls . . . the dimples that showed even while he was grimacing in pain . . . 
the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man's face . . . he reminded me 
of Vera's little Henry. I didn't want him to die - so much that, even though I hated this life, I 
was selfish enough to ask Carlisle to change him for me. 

"I got luckier than I deserved. Emmett is everything I would have asked for if I'd known 
myself well enough to know what to ask for. He's exactly the kind of person someone like 
me needs. And, oddly enough, he needs me, too. That part worked out better than I could 
have hoped. But there will never be more than the two of us. And I'll never sit on a porch 
somewhere, with him gray-haired by my side, surrounded by our grandchildren." 

Her smile was kind now. "That sounds quite bizarre to you, doesn't it? In some ways, you are 
much more mature than I was at eighteen. But in other ways . . . there are many things 
you've probably never thought about seriously. You're too young to know what you'll want 
in ten years, fifteen years - and too young to give it all up without thinking it through. You 

 

don't want to be rash about permanent things, Bella." She patted my head, but the gesture 
didn't feel condescending. 

I sighed. 

"Just think about it a little. Once it's done, 