 like double standards.
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We got to the door of her class-where I would have to leave her; I wondered idly
if Ms. Cope would be more accommodating about a switch in the schedule of my English
class...  I made myself focus.  I could be fair.
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating," I said slowly.  "And she wants to
know how you feel about me."
Her eyes were wide-not startled, but ingenious now.  They were open to me,
readable.  She was playing innocent.
"Yikes," she murmured.  "What should I say?"
"Hmmm."  She always tried to make me give away more than she did.  I pondered
how to respond.
A wayward strand of her hair, slightly damp from the fog, draped across her
shoulder and curled around where her collar bone was hidden by the ridiculous sweater.
It drew my eyes...pulled them across the other hidden lines...
I reached for it carefully, not touching her skin-the morning was chill enough
without my touch-and twisted it back into place in her untidy bun so that it wouldn't
distract me again.  I remembered when Mike Newton had touched her hair, and my jaw
flexed at the memory.  She had flinched away from him then.  Her reaction now was
nothing the same; instead, there was a slight widening of her eyes, a rush of blood under
her skin, and a sudden, uneven thumping of her heart.
I tried to hide my smile as I answered her question.
"I suppose you could say yes to the first...if you don't mind-," her choice,
always her choice, "-it's easier than any other explanation."
"I don't mind," she whispered.  Her heart had not found its normal rhythm yet.
"And as for her other question..." I couldn't hide my smile now.  "Well, I'll be
listening to hear the answer to that one myself."
Let Bella consider
that
.  I held back my laugh as shock crossed her face.
I turned quickly, before she could ask for any more answers.  I had a difficult time
not giving her whatever she asked for.  And I wanted to hear
her
thoughts, not mine.
"I'll see you at lunch," I called back to her over my shoulder, an excuse to check
that she was still staring after me, wide-eyed.  Her mouth was hanging open.  I turned
away again, and laughed.
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As I paced away, I was vaguely aware of the shocked and speculative thoughts
that swirled around me-eyes bouncing back and forth between Bella's face and my
retreating figure.  I paid them little attention.  I couldn't concentrate.  It was hard enough
to keep my feet moving at an acceptable speed as I crossed the soggy grass to my next
class.  I wanted to run-really run, so fast that I would disappear, so fast that it would
feel like I was flying.  Part of me was flying already.
I put the jacket on when I got to class, letting her fragrance swim thick around me.
I would burn now-let the scent desensitize me-and then it would be easier to ignore it
later, when I was with her again at lunch...
It was a good thing that my teachers no longer bothered to call on me.  Today
might have been the day that they would have caught me out, unprepared and answerless.
My mind was in so many places this morning; only my body was in the classroom.
Of course I was watching Bella.  That was becoming natural-as automatic as
breathing.  I heard her conversation with a demoralized Mike Newton.  She quickly
directed the conversation to Jessica, and I grinned so wide that Rob Sawyer, who sat at
the desk to my right, flinched visibly and slid deeper into his seat, away from me.
Ugh.  Creepy.
Well, I hadn't lost it entirely.
I was also monitoring Jessica loosely, watching her refine her questions for Bella.
I could barely wait for fourth period, ten times as eager and anxious as the curious human
girl who wanted fresh gossip.
And I was also listening to Angela Weber.
I had not forgotten the gratitude I felt to her-for thinking nothing but kind things
toward Bella in the first place, and then for her help last night.  So I waited through the
morning, looking for something that she wanted.  I assumed it would be an easy; like any
other human, there must be some bauble or toy she wanted particularly.  Several,
probably.  I would deliver something anonymously and call us even.
But Angela proved almost as unaccommodating as Bella with her thoughts.  She
was oddly content for a teenager.  Happy.  Perhaps this was the reason for her unusual
kindness-she was one of those rare people who had what they wanted and wanted what
they had.  If she wasn't paying attention to her teachers and her notes, she was thinking
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of the twin little brothers she was taking to the beach this weekend-anticipating their
excitement with an almost maternal pleasure.  She cared for them often, but was not
resentful of this fact...  It was very sweet.
But not really helpful to me.
There had to be something she wanted.  I would just have to keep looking.  But
later.  It was time for Bella's trig class with Jessica.
I wasn't watching where I was going as I made my way to English.  Jessica was
already in her seat, both her feet tapping impatiently against the floor as she waited for
Bella to arrive.
Conversely, once I settled into my assigned seat in the classroom, I became
utterly still.  I had to remind myself to fidget now and then.  To keep up the charade.  It
was difficult, my thoughts were so focused on Jessica's.  I hoped she would pay attention,
really try to read Bella's face for me.
Jessica's tapping intensified when Bella walked into the room.
She looks...glum.  Why?  Maybe there's nothing going on with Edward Cullen.
That would be a disappointment.  Except...then he's still available... If he's suddenly
interested in dating, I don't mind helping out with that...
Bella's face didn't look glum, it looked reluctant.  She was worried-she knew I
would hear all of this.  I smiled to myself.
"Tell me everything!"
Jess demanded while Bella was still removing her jacket to
hang it on the back of her seat.  She was moving with deliberation, unwilling.
Ugh, she's so slow.  Let's get to the juicy stuff!
"What do you want to know?"
Bella stalled as she took her seat.
"What happened last night?"
"He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home."
And then?  C'mon, there has to be more than that!  She's lying anyway, I know
that.  I'm going to call her on it.
"How did you get home so fast?"
I watched Bella roll her eyes at the suspicious Jessica.
"He drives like a maniac.  It was terrifying."
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She smiled a tiny smile, and I laughed out loud, interrupting Mr. Mason's
announcements.  I tried to turn the laugh into a cough, but no one was fooled.  Mr. Mason
shot me an irritated look, but I didn't even bother to listen to the thought behind it.  I was
hearing Jessica.
Huh.  She sounds like she's telling the truth.  Why is she making me pull this out
of her, word by word?  I would be bragging at the top of my lungs if it were me.
"Was it like a date-did you tell him to meet you there?"
Jessica watched surprise cross Bella's expression, and was disappointed at how
genuine it seemed.
"No-I was
very
surprised to see him there,"
Bella told her.
What is going on??  "But he picked you up for school today?"  There has to be
more to the story.
"Yes-that was a surprise, too.  He noticed I didn't have a jacket last night."
That's not very much fun,
Jessica thought, disappointed again.
I was tired of her line of questioning-I wanted to hear something I didn't already
know.  I hoped she wasn't so dissatisfied that she would skip the questions I was waiting
for.
"So are you going out again?"
Jessica demanded.
"He offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because he thinks my truck isn't up to
it-does that count?"
Hmm.  He sure is going out of his way to...well, take care of her, sort of.  There
must be something there on his side, if not on hers.  How could THAT be?  Bella's crazy.
"Yes,"
Jessica answered Bella's question.
"Well, then,"
Bella concluded.
"Yes."
"Wow...Edward Cullen."  Whether she likes him or not, this is major.
"I know,"
Bella sighed.
The tone of her voice encouraged Jessica.
Finally-she sounds like she gets it!
She must realize...
"Wait!"
Jessica said, suddenly remembering her most vital question.
"Has he
kissed you?"  Please say yes.  And then describe every second!
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"No,"
Bella mumbled, and then she looked down at her hands, her face falling.
"It's not like that."
Damn.  I wish...  Ha.  Looks like she does to.
I frowned.  Bella did look upset about something, but it couldn't be
disappointment like Jessica assumed.  She couldn't want that.  Not knowing what she
knew.  She couldn't want to be that close to my
teeth
.  For all she knew, I had fangs.
I shuddered.
"Do you think Saturday...?"
Jessica prodded.
Bella looked even more frustrated as she said,
"I really doubt it."
Yeah, she does wish.  That sucks for her.
Was it because I was watching all this through the filter of Jessica's perceptions
that it seemed like Jessica was right?
For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility, of what it would
be like to try to kiss her.  My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding silk...
And then she dies.
I shook my head, wincing, and made myself pay attention.
"What did you talk about?"
Did
you talk to him, or did you make him drag every
ounce of information out of you like this?
I smiled ruefully.  Jessica wasn't far off.
"I don't know, Jess, lots of stuff.  We talked about the English essay a little."
A very little.  I smiled wider.
Oh, c'MON.  "Please, Bella!  Give me some details."
Bella deliberated for a moment.
"Well...okay, I've got one.  You should have seen the waitress flirting with him-
it was over the top.  But he didn't pay any attention to her at all."
What a strange detail to share.  I was surprised Bella had even notice